


Integrity Check

by Mareel



Series: Alone [14]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Communication, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Gen, Letters, M/M, Mass Effect 2, Pre-Suicide Mission, mentor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 17:58:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4886278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mareel/pseuds/Mareel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two good men. One decision to make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Integrity Check

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place late in Mass Effect 2, at the time Shepard is taking the _Normandy SR2_ through the Omega 4 relay on what might be a suicide mission. it is Anderson's voice, dictating a personal log entry. 
> 
> It refers to the messages Shepard sent to Anderson in [Lifeline](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4688795).

 

I thought it might come down to this one day. 

I'm looking at a message from Commander Shepard... and damn it, I still think of him as that... _Commander_ Shepard. After one more mission - and it sounds like a pretty damn dangerous one - he's going to cut all ties to Cerberus. He plans to come home to Earth, bringing the _Normandy SR-2_ , and turn himself in to the Alliance. His decision doesn't surprise me. 

I understand, as only a few other people do, that he wasn't working with Cerberus just because they rebuilt him after two years of being dead, but because the Alliance wouldn't pull their heads out of the arses and go after the Collectors themselves. _Ourselves_ , I guess. 

We knew damn well the _Normandy SR-1_ was destroyed by a Collector ship. Why would anyone believe they'd stop at that? So Shepard has been- operating as a Spectre in the Terminus systems with Council blessing... and mine. I thought it was the best I could do for him. 

Now he'll be coming home, bringing the most advanced ship the Alliance fleet will have, and bringing his personal experience. And his reward for this will be arrest, detention and possible court martial. Not the latter if I can help it, but preventing the first two is beyond my influence. 

I guess I've always taken an interest in his career. Call him a protégé if you will. And I don't believe for a moment that he did what people are accusing him of - cutting a deal with Cerberus to fake his death so he could join them. For one thing, he always despised Cerberus and their methods. For another, I refuse to even entertain the possibility that Shepard would sacrifice his ship and the lives of his crew in order to defect. Not for a goddamn minute. The man has far too much integrity for that.

____________________________

 

That brings me to Alenko. Another man with unassailable loyalty and integrity. And one with his own interest in Commander Shepard. No, it's not common knowledge. Hell, I'm just guessing about it. Kaidan was hit way harder by Shepard's death than even massive survivor's guilt would account for. I finally got him to see a counselor... I don't know if it helped any but I hated to lose a man like him to a grief he couldn't talk to me about. 

It was another clue when Alenko was the only one of his former crew that Shepard asked about when we met on his first trip back to the Citadel. I hated like hell to tell him I couldn't put him in touch. Something kind of faded from Shepard's eyes when I did. Hope, maybe. 

So now he's sent a letter he asked me to forward to Kaidan. And I'm going to do it. Right now, unopened. I can read enough between the lines in Shepard's message to me to understand that he thinks this might be his last mission... a one-way trip. Whatever he wanted to say to Kaidan in that situation is between them alone and I owe them both the gifts of privacy and trust. 

I hope it brings some kind of comfort to Kaidan. It sounded like it was important for Shepard too. God, I hope he makes it back... but I'm sure if he's detained, they won't allow him any communications at all. That makes this message even more important.

I thought it might come down to this one day. Being true to myself or blindly loyal to an organization that needs its own integrity check. 

I choose compassion.

_____________________________________________________

 


End file.
